


i met him in dreams

by bluedelilah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: "Little one" used as nickname, Completed, Dom!Kylo, F/M, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Mentions of numbness, Minific, Mostly Smut, Mutual self pleasure, Porn with Feelings, Pretty Scenery, Riding, Stomach riding, confusing reality, intense emotion, mentions of depression, non-aggressive, not dd/lg, sex in weird places, thigh riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedelilah/pseuds/bluedelilah
Summary: you met him in the night, in your dreams. the beautiful boy--kylo ren. he was warm, so warm you felt the tingling on your skin throughout the endless hours of day until you could see him again. without him, while the sun was bright and life roared on, your heart ached for his presence. with him, in the protection of slumber, you felt full. you felt safe. you felt.-"You'll miss me when you're awake, won't you?"You nodded quickly. "Yes, of course I will. I'll think of you until I see you again."
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	1. the boy in front of the sun

**Author's Note:**

> a trigger warning to reiterate: they talk about the reader feeling numb in her real life. this can translate to depression. there's a lot of emotion in this, so be cautious. I'd advise reading this when you're alone and comfortable. 
> 
> *ITALICS MEANS THE READER IS AWAKE. NORMAL TEXT IS THE DREAMS. 
> 
> I can't tell if this story is interesting or just odd. hope you enjoy either way!  
> this is kylo x reader, but if you'd rather imagine the mc as Rey, feel free. this is a minific, it's completed.

_Exhaustion was weighing heavily on your limbs. After a full 3-11 shift, your feet were aching and your cheeks were sore from smiling at bitter customers. As soon as you were through the door, you pushed out of your sneakers and ripped your layers--coat, sweater, blouse-- over your head. You shut your bedroom door behind you, pausing to lock it so Prie, your sweet but overbearing roommate, couldn't accidentally barge in and witness your indecent sleep attire, or lack thereof. You crawled under the covers in only your underwear, pulling the thick cream comforter around you tightly, reveling in it's warm embrace. Only the dim glow of street lights pushed their way through the window, highlighting a perfect square onto your desk. Your eyelids were heavy, but you didn't resist their weight, you accepted the urge, and let sleep pull you in._

He was undoubtedly handsome. Dark eyelashes and golden irises, a mane of raven waves dangling around him like a halo in front of the bright light. You wanted to reach out and trace the sharp line of his cheekbone where it jutted out among his freckles. His lips were plush and pouty, pillows of perfect pinkness, just begging to be caressed with your own. 

And he was sitting in front of you, so closely that you could see how wide and enchanting his pupils were, deep pits of blackness that were focused only on you. He was kneeling with his knees only inches away from your own, and you realized you were seated with your legs tucked beneath you. You were sure you hadn't seen this boy before. Not a boy--maybe he was a man. His age was difficult to predict. 

"Hello," you greeted him quietly, squinting at the sharp light peering around his figure. 

"Is it bright?"

His voice was deep and hoarse, scratching through his throat with perfect rumbling melody. You wanted to dance to the tune of it--certainly you could, it was so hypnotizing. His words seemed to echo around you, bouncing against the walls of your conscious, and you smiled at him fondly.

"Is what bright?" you inquired. 

"The sun."

You nodded slowly. You hadn't realized the blinding yellow projection was the sun, but you believed him without hesitation. Yes, it was the sun--you were sure of it. 

"Where are we?" you asked. 

"Somewhere nice."

"And who are you?" you prodded, searching for answers. 

"Someone."

"Can you give me your name?" you pleaded, attempting to push your eyelids farther from their squinting stance. 

"I don't have one."

"Can you make one?"

The man paused and sighed, jaw shifting slightly as he considered your request. His lips squirmed with the movement and you watched them, captivated by their plushness. 

"Kylo."

"That's pretty," you assured him with a small smile.

"I already know your name."

"Do you?" You frowned and blinked up at him. Freckles. So many scattered across his skin like the stars of a galaxy. 

The boy nodded, wavy hair bobbing against his cheeks as he did. His lips parted and your name left them. Except, it didn't sound like your name--it sounded like a song, a strand of perfect melody announced by his tongue. 

"So you do," you whispered, leaning forward to stare at the pools of honey trapped in his irises. 

"Can I touch you?"

You felt slightly taken aback by his question, but one glance at your body and you realized you were naked. Another glance at his told you he was too. His chest was a wide expanse of pale skin wrapped over broad muscles-- round, sculpted shoulders, bulging pecks. His arms were just as perfect. His biceps were wide and sturdy, forearms thick and painted with gentle strokes of dark hair. His hands were shockingly large and unscarred-- the only disruption of smoothness were the lines of his tendons and arteries. You were too nervous to look past his bellybutton, though you caught a glimpse of hair trailing down his toned torso. 

"Yes," you answered. 

His fingertips grazed your hands and you flinched at the feather-soft contact. The pads of his fingers skimmed across your skin, passing over your knobby wrists and the thin skin of your forearms. Goosebumps were rising as he went, little dots of sensation trailing in the wake of his touch. He reached your biceps, and traced the curve of gentle muscle up to your shoulders. His fingers rubbed one wide circle along the start of your collarbone. He followed the apparent line until his hands touched for a moment, meeting in the middle of your chest like he intended to pray, and then they parted again. Your heart was hammering as he neared your breasts, and you trapped oxygen in your lungs when his pointer fingers traced the top of your cleavage. His eyes were watching his movements, intensely focused, his lips loose and luscious. You shuddered as his thumbs pressed into your nipples. He kept them there, rubbing gently over the hardening nubs, while the rest of his fingers skated across your breasts. There was warmth trickling through your core, a steady stream of satisfaction. 

"Does that feel good?"

You nodded shyly. "Yes, very."

With this sign of approval, his touch left your breasts and trailed down your sternum, sensing the thumping of your heartbeat. He rubbed soft, loose circles against the flesh of your tummy as he dragged his fingers down it. He circled your bellybutton and smoothed his thumbs across the pocket of plush at the bottom of your stomach. He lowered his fingers to skim across the sensitive skin of your pelvis. There was warm wetness already pooling between your legs, and your chest was rising quicker. He wouldn't be able to reach your aching core from your position, so you pushed against the ground beneath you and propped yourself to kneel with your legs spread openly, a sign of invitation. You were closer to him now that you were sitting up, and you could sense the desire in his eyes. You swallowed thickly as his fingers drifted lower. Gentle fingertips glided over the mound of your cunt, tickling the warm skin and you gasped, squirming at the sensation. 

"Does that feel good?"

"Yes, more please," you begged.

He listened. One hand held onto the bone of your hip, while the pointer and middle fingers of the other pushed over your clit and into the folds of your slit. You whimpered, letting your jaw hang open as his fingers slid through your wetness. He massaged your entrance gently, pulsing the pad of his middle finger against it, before spreading your juices over your clit. He started with gentle strokes on your bud, sending tingles through you. Your torso was flexing as he caressed your nerves, your legs struggling to stay upright. He was still watching you with intrigue and content, basking in the praise of your unhinged jaw. 

"Faster, Kylo. Please," you directed. 

The pressure of his fingers heightened and you shuddered, torso curling inwards as warmth grew in your gut. His circles were quicker and smaller, and you had to let your ass fall back against your heels. He moved with you, adjusting to your new position, and scooted forward to let you rest your forehead on the hard canvas of his shoulder. Your breath was landing on the obtrusive shadow of his collarbone. His fingers were magic, their circular strokes pouring bliss through your tingling clit. 

There was a growing pressure and it burned your gut, setting you ablaze. 

"You're going to come now." The words were whispered into your ear. 

Your thighs trembled as the pressure exploded behind your clit. It was overwhelmingly warm. You yelped against his skin and relaxed your cheek against his shoulder, skin buzzing with euphoria. 

"Do you feel better now?"

You nodded against his muscles. 

"You have to stand up now."

You mumbled an, "Okay," struggling to process his instructions. He helped you up, gentle fingers gripping your waist as you pushed onto your feet. Kylo stepped away, glancing over his shoulder and nodding at you to follow him. You could see past him now, the bright flash of the sun no longer hiding your surroundings in darkness. You were on the beach, though you couldn't remember the feeling of sand minutes ago. Perhaps you had just now arrived to the secluded area of pale sand and dazzling blue water. 

You walked beside each other, shoulders brushing, to the edge of the water. The wet sand felt like clay beneath your toes and you dragged you heel against it to watch the smooth surface break only to be mended by the next wave of water. 

"Why am I here?" you asked, avoiding his piercing gaze. 

"To feel better."

"I felt fine already," you argued. 

"You feel better than you did before you got here, don't you?"

You nodded, examining the way the orange glow of the sun bounced against his fragile skin. 

"And why are you here?" you questioned. 

"To make you feel better."

You stepped into the water, shivering at it's icy embrace around your calves. Kylo stepped in beside you, staring at the blurry horizon. 

"You should go now."

"I don't want to go," you assured him quickly. 

"You have to. You're waking up."

"Can I come back?"

His eyes turned to meet yours, firey irises swallowing you whole. 

"Yes, you'll see me again."

_You awoke suddenly and painfully, as if a bucket of ice water had drenched your snoozing conscious. You blinked into the darkness and tried to remember where you were, what was real and pretend. Your blankets, so warm that sweat was gathered on the back of your neck, were real. The beams of moonlight streaming through your curtains were real. The slickness that coated the inside of your panties was very much real. But the magic fingers that had brought you that relief, that lingering warmth buzzing in your cunt, were not real. He wasn't real, but you pushed your head back to the pillow and prayed to return to him._


	2. the boy with rainbows on his skin

_You were eager to sleep the next night. You felt surprisingly well rested, but you were itching to see him again. The boy in your dreams. The hours of the day were filled with the memory of his face, his voice, his fingers. The thought of him was enough to make your heart thump louder through your ribs. You lay, swaddled in blankets, eyes shut tightly, begging your body to let sleep grab hold of you. It took longer than you wished, but eventually after hours of staring at the pale moonlight glowing against the white walls, the fog of rest surrounded you._

Prominent nose over soft lips. Tangled dark locks pushed away from his face. You grinned at the sight of him. 

"Kylo," you whispered. 

He nodded towards the space behind you and stood. You followed him, pushing yourself from your seated position. 

"Where are we going now?"

"Just look."

You blinked and took in your surroundings. A room, made entire of glittering crystal, rainbow reflections bouncing through the air and landing on his cheekbones. The floor was plush with thick carpet and there was a large thin mattress in the center. 

"Lay down."

You obeyed, and slowly lowered yourself onto the mattress, carefully watching his expression. He nodded approvingly. 

"Open your legs."

With a shaky breath, you pulled your knees apart, and felt the warm air greet your core. 

"Touch yourself."

You gulped and frowned. 

"Go on."

Your hesitant fingers skimmed over the skin of your thighs, pausing at your hips bones and resting in the middle of your pelvis. 

"Lower."

You pushed them down, skating them over your mound and shivering at the gentle contact. 

"Touch your clit."

He was watching you closely with hooded eyes and plush, serious lips as you pressed against your clit and whimpered.

"Slow circles."

You heeded his command, moving your fingers against your bud in steady round motions. Your legs tingled and your cunt throbbed with the sensation. Warmth was gathering beneath your fingertips, a wide wave of gentle bliss. 

"Does it feel good?"

You nodded against the mattress, eyes fluttering shut, and whimpered. "Yes, Kylo. It feels so good."

"Look at me."

You pressed your unoccupied hand against the soft surface below you and pushed yourself to prop up on your palm. You couldn't remember noticing his naked body before, but it was on full display now. Stretched muscle forming a thick torso, indents where the muscles of his abdomen pressed against his skin. There were faint lines leading from his hip bones to his pelvis. His cock was hard and throbbing already, a desperate shade of pink lined with strokes of veins. You blinked at it, registering the size of it, huge and breathtaking. His sturdy, flexed arm was moving rhythmically, his wide fingers encircling his girth and running along it. The sight of him stroking himself made your fingers move faster, the heat in your core expanding. 

"You have to say it out loud."

Your breath was quickening under your breasts, blood pumping in your core.

"I-It's big," you muttered through parted, panting lips. 

Kylo stepped closer, long dark locks brushing the tops of his rounded shoulders. His fingers paused at his tip, running over the smooth head, spreading his precum. 

"Do you want to be filled?"

You nodded quickly, heartbeat in your ears, and he moved even closer, kneeling between your parted legs with his length still throbbing in his fingers. 

"Say it."

"I want to be filled," you breathed, bliss growing stronger beneath your warmed clit. 

"Lay down."

You let your back meet the floor, legs spreading wider in open invitation. Kylo grabbed hold of your thighs, fingers digging into the malleable flesh, and pulled your legs to encircle his waist. The head of his cock teased your entrance, running across your folds until it was wet with your slickness. Your entrance stretched as he pushed through it, enormous length pressing against your warm walls. You gasped and watched his gently furrowed brow. He kept staring at you, irises like sunflowers soaking in the sight of your bare body, flushed cheeks and rising chest. 

His breathing was becoming labored with each slow thrust, lips falling open with relief. 

"You like having me inside you--feeling my length in this pretty tummy--don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I love it," you said between straggling breaths. 

"Use my name."

"I love it, Kylo," you repeated, his name turning into a desperate moan as it crossed your lips.

"Prove it."

"How?" you pleaded. 

"Start over."

You were empty, his full length no longer lodged in your heat, and you pushed back onto your palms to watch him stand and back away, slick cock resting in his fingers. 

"No, please, please! Fill me, again," you pleaded, desperately.

He shook his head as he caught his escaping breath. 

"Start again. Fingers on your clit."

You swallowed thickly and pressed your fingertips to your clit, slow steady movements again. This time, your cunt ached with emptiness. It was apparent now that something was missing, your walls weren't meant to be unoccupied. You needed him in you, stroking through your entrance. 

Kylo's fingers began to move again, stroking his length, thumb running over the top of his head every time he reached it. He watched you with an unhinged jaw. If only you could tempt him, convince him to push inside of you again. 

"I want it, please," you begged. 

"Not yet."

You allowed your back to rest against the mattress, granting yourself access to the use of your other hand. You used the opportunity to pinch your nipples between your fingers, rolling the hardened nubs as your clit burned and tingled. 

"That's how much you want it?"

You shook your head slowly, cheeks brushing the mattress. "No, even more."

"Show it."

You released your breasts and dragged your palm down your stomach to your inner thigh, caressing the skin for a moment before you pressed your fingertips around your entrance. Your pointer finger glided inside you, running along the ridges near your entrance. Your walls were soft and velvety around your own skin. 

"That's not enough."

You whined as you pushed your middle finger inside and reached deeply to pulse along your g-spot, shuddering and moaning at the pleasure. 

"That feels good?"

"Yes, Kylo, not as good as you."

His cock was frustrated in his hands, firm and pink, bulging, begging to be back inside you. You were almost there, almost to his surrender. 

You added your third finger and curled harshly against your walls with each slow thrust. You could feel the pressure from inside your walls pulsing in your tingling clit and your jaw fell opened, head pressing against the mattress as your back arched. 

"Still not better than me?"

You could barely speak, blissful pressure shooting into each crevice of your core, piercing through your hard bud and velvet walls. 

"I'd rather be filled by you than--" you sobbed, unable to hide the aching pleasure. "My fingers."

"You seem to like them just fine."

"But I don't love them," you argued, squeezing your eyes shut to focus on keeping your orgasm away. 

"You aren't proving it."

"I don't know how," you cried, writhing underneath your own touch. 

"Add another."

You winced as you added your pinky, keeping your thrusts deeper now so that every finger stayed inside. Your entrance was stressed, walls being intruded by desperate, pulsing fingertips. You massaged your g-spot, feeling the sensation in your clit. Tears were pooling under your eyelids, and one slipped free, dragging across your skin and falling sideways onto your ear. 

"Please, Kylo," you whined. 

"Get up. Kneel."

You scrambled to rest on your knees. You expected him to slip his length through your lips, but instead he circled stance and sat behind you, legs folded beneath him, balancing himself on his shins. 

"Spread your legs."

You pushed them apart, still balancing on your kneecaps. Kylo moved forward until he was between you. He held his cock in one hand and used his other to grasp onto your hip and lower you onto him. He stretched through your entrance, filling you completely. His palms pressed against the ground behind him, and he used the leverage to lift his hips and thrust you into you steadily. You matched his effort, lowering onto his cock every time he pushed into your walls. 

"Touch your clit."

You obeyed immediately, pressing your fingertips into your bud and making slow circles. Moans were slipping through your lips along with your labored breath. Kylo brought one hand to your breast, kneading the flesh and pinching your nipple between his fingers. The bliss invading your core was rising steadily. You were helpless. Desperate. 

"You like squirming on me, don't you, little one?"

"Yes, I love it," you whimpered. 

His cock was sliding against your walls, massaging your nerves.

"Do you want to come on me, clench around me?"

"Yes, I want to come, please," you begged.

His strokes got deeper, piercing you in your stomach and an invisible pressure surrounded your clit, making you cry out and gasp with relief. Your orgasm burst in your core-- warmth invading your cunt and buzzing under your clit, leaving you suspended in bliss, torso jolting as your nerves exploded with pleasure. Kylo moaned, low and deep, and you felt his cum fill the space of your walls, surrounding his own length as it twitched inside of you. 

You leaned forward slowly, until you were empty of him, your mixed liquids dripping down your thighs.

"Turn around."

Kylo's gaze was forceful. He dragged his vision across your trembling body, gliding his fingertips over your curves. 

"You look so pretty with my cum dripping down your thighs."

Pink heat creeped along your cheeks and you whimpered as his fingers grazed your cunt. 

"This pretty pussy."

Your chest was rising in deep, recovering breaths. He moved his thumbs to graze your softened nipples. 

"You'll miss me when you're awake, won't you?"

You nodded quickly. "Yes, of course I will. I'll think of you until I see you again."

He didn't reply. 

"I'll see you again, won't I?" you asked hoarsely.

"Yes, little one. Soon."

His hands traveled to your neck, tracing the curves of your throat, and landed on your cheeks, cupping your face in his palms. 

"You have to close your eyes now."

"I don't want to leave you yet."

His fingers moved to cover your eyes and you tried to pry them away but your fingers felt heavy, a weight so intense you could barely lift them from your sides. 

"Soon."

_You awoke in a sweat, blinking into the dim surroundings of your room. Your chest ached for him. Those puffy lips. Gentle, strong fingers. Messy raven hair. Constellations of freckles around his jutting nose. You pulled the blankets around you despite the sweat drenching your skin. 'Kylo', your mind voiced, trying to reach out and call him back. There was no point. He wouldn't be able to hear you. He didn't exist here. You would have to wait until the next night._


	3. the boy with wet lips

_You didn't see him for four days. Each morning you woke with a tangle of gray disappointment in your throat. At night you swallowed it, only to have it return with the sun to the space behind your tongue, an uncomfortable itch you choked on throughout the day. You squeezed your eyes closed and repeated his name in your head. Kylo. Kylo. Kylo. Kylo. Kylo. You held onto the thought of him as sleep grabbed hold of you._

Your hand was clasped in his as he dragged you forward, glancing back to be sure you were really there. His eyes were greener in this gentle, foggy light. High cheekbones and puffy, pink lips. He was enchanting, as always.

"Where are we this time?" you asked, feet shuffling to match his pace.

He stopped abruptly and peered at you.

"Take a look."

Gray stones on gray gravelly dirt, rolling hills of it, with patches of grass breaking the rocky terrain. In front of you, a river flowing into a pond of perfectly clear, shimmering water. You reached forward and skimmed your fingers over the surface, disrupting the stillness into rippling ringlets. It was icy to the touch and you shivered. Kylo had left your side and was standing in a patch of dark green grass at the edge of the water.

"Come here."

You stepped forward to join him, feet tickled by the lush grass. His cock was free, already hard and sitting against his pelvis. He turned and lowered himself to sit, before pushing to rest on his back, lying down in the strands of green lawn. You kneeled next to him peering into his widening pupils, awaiting instructions.

"Sit here, little one."

He tapped his fingertips against his thigh. You climbed over his leg and pressed your bare cunt to his muscle.

"Did you miss me?"

"Yes, very dearly," you assured him eagerly.

"Move your hips."

You pushed your pelvis forward and caved your torso as you glided backwards. Your clit hummed with satisfaction at the friction, and you let your head lull to the side, cheek resting against your own shoulder.

"Press harder."

You forced your torso to clench as you pushed your core onto him, and rocked slowly onto your tingling clit.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, Kylo. It feels so good," you panted.

"You're going to do this everywhere."

"Everywhere?" you asked.

He nodded, a loose curl falling in his face and tickling his nose.

"Here."

His pointer finger skimmed over the prominent muscles of his abdomen, and you frowned, still thrusting your cunt against his thigh.

"Your stomach?" you asked with wide eyes.

"Now."

You pressed your palms into the padded ground beneath you, and crawled to straddle his thick torso. You lowered yourself onto it, trying to create friction on your clit, but it wasn't right.

"You have to try different spots."

You heeded his suggestion and moved your cunt over his abdomen, pressing it onto different curves of the surface, searching for the right one. Finally you found it and whimpered. His hands held your hips as you pressed yourself into the muscle beneath you. The warmth in your gut was stronger and your clit tingled with satisfaction.

"Where else?" you asked breathlessly.

He ran his palm over his bicep, and you climbed over his torso to hover your core over his arm. This one was more difficult. It wasn't high enough--there wasn't enough pressure. You were growing frustrated as you glided over the muscles.

"I can't," you cried, pressing your lips together to warrant away pathetic tears.

"You're not trying."

"Yes, I am," you whined.

"Then stop."

You froze and looked at his face with anxious eyes. He was calm, soft lips in a neutral line, eyes void of panic or anger. He grabbed his own chin in his palm and pressed his fingers to his lips.

"Here, now."

You exhaled with relief and moved quickly to position your legs around his face, slowly sinking until his mouth was under your mound. His tongue ran through your slit and you gasped, falling onto him. He worked slowly--lapping his tongue through your folds, pulsing at your entrance and sucking on your clit. You writhed above him, moaning and mewling.

"I missed you Kylo. I missed you so much," you moaned.

He groaned against your core, nose pushing against your bud, and you shuddered.

"Where else?" you asked breathlessly.

His mouth left your folds and he met your gaze, lips glossy from your wetness.

"Here."

His hand was wrapped around his hardened length, pumping up and down over the peeking veins. You slid away from his face and climbed over his pelvis, lowering yourself to rest on his hips. His cock throbbed as you glided against it, rocking your hips with it between your folds. Your fingers found his tip and you massaged the pink head with your fingertips, making him moan.

"I missed you too, little one."

"Will you let me come like this?" you asked desperately, clit humming with bliss from the friction of his stiff length.

"No. Let me fill you."

That was all you needed, and you held his shaft in your hand and pushed it inside of you. You sunk down until your clit brushed his pelvis. He filled you, empty space within your walls disappearing, replaced by him. You rocked back and forth, his hardness pressing against the ridges near your entrance, your clit skating against his skin. You whimpered. Relief was burning in your core.

"And will you let me come like this?" you questioned, shuddering and pulsing onto him.

"Yes, you may come like this. Press those fingers against your pretty clit."

You rubbed uneven circles into your bud, the small joints of your fingers shaky and struggling to keep their pace. Your chest heaved and your torso jolted as you clenched around him, firey bliss bursting within your walls. He watched you as you came, his eyes hooded and intense. He twitched within you and warm liquid brimmed at your entrance, his hot cum stuffed between his length and your walls. You laid your cheek onto his chest, allowing him to remain inside you, softening as seconds passed.

"Don't you want to swim?"

You glanced back at the glimmering water and nodded. Kylo held your hips as you sat up and pulled off of him, legs weak and shaky. He stood beside you and gently took hold of your wrist, guiding you into the water. It was frigid but the cold didn't bring pain or discomfort, only icy relief. He pulled you through the pond until the water reached your shoulders, and then his fingers lost their grip on your arm. Kylo disappeared under the surface for a moment, coming back up with dripping hair and dark lashes. You reached to push the drenched strands out of his face.

"Where do you go when I'm awake?" you asked.

"I'm always here."

"You're just for me?" You skated your fingers along the water's rippling surface.

"Yes, little one."

"Why?" You liked that he was only yours. That meant you were only his.

"Haven't you been feeling bad?"

You nodded.

"You've been giving up."

"Nothing makes me feel anymore," you pointed out with a tiny, breaking voice.

"Don't I?'

"Yes, you do," you assured him.

"Then that is why."

You creeped closer to him.

"I wish I knew your lips," you whispered.

"Then you will."

He pressed his mouth to yours. His lips were plush and smooth, warm in the cool water. They swallowed your gently, slowly, the way Kylo always treated you. His tongue was kind as it pushed behind your teeth, caressing your mouth. He pulled away and stared at you with those soft, aureate irises.

"Thank you," you said quietly.

"It's what I'm meant for."

He stepped away from you.

"You have to go under the water now."

"I have to leave?" you asked sorrowfully.

"Yes."

"Will I see you again?" you questioned, holding your breath for the answer.

"Tomorrow."

"I'll miss you," you reminded him.

"I know, little one. Go on."

You took one last look at his handsome face, rosy cheeks and long nose, before gliding under the water into darkness.

_You woke with immense emptiness and fullness all at once. Your heart was aching, missing him already, but being in his presence had completed a part of you. You pulled the covers tighter. Tomorrow, you'd feel again._


	4. the boy who made you feel

_Another long day of thinking of him. Another day of craving his touch. You went to bed as soon as you arrived home, sinking into the mattress, and hoping he had told the truth when he said you'd see him tonight. Sleep came quickly._

You were still in your room, still wrapped in the thick comforter. Except you weren't alone. He hovered over you, pouty lips visible in the dim light of the street lamps. 

"You're here?" you whispered.

"Yes, but you're not awake."

"Oh," you sighed. 

Kylo lowered himself to lie next to you, his chest pressed to your back. 

"Will you kiss me again?" you asked. 

"Not now."

"What will we do now, then?" you said as your relaxed into him. 

His fingers skimmed against the small of your waist, grazing your tummy and settling between your thighs. His fingertips ran along your mound softly, tickling the skin and making your core grow warm. You shuddered when he pressed against your clit. 

"Does that feel good?"

"Yes, yes," you breathed. 

He formed steady circles onto your firm bud, and his other hand found your breast, pinching at your nipple and rolling the flesh in his palm. Pleasure sizzled under your warming skin, and you squirmed under his touch. His hard length was pressed against your lower back, and you pushed yourself upwards so that it was under your cunt.

"If you want something you have to ask for it."

You gulped, and pressed your slit onto his cock, feeling his firmness grow slick with your wetness. 

"I want to be filled," you pleaded. 

Kylo's hand abandoned your breast and he moved his tip to slip across your folds, pausing at your entrance. 

"Please," you whispered. 

You moaned as he pushed through you, filling the space between your aching walls. His breathing was labored, warm breath fluttering against the skin of your shoulder as he pushed into you deeply again and again. His fingers stayed on your clit, gentle circles of bliss. Your hips rocked back to meet him, the curves of your body morphing together. He was warm, and his heat seeped through your skin and settled in your core.

"I missed you again," you panted. 

"I know. I missed you too, little one."

You whimpered as his fingers worked faster, massaging the pulse hammering under your bud. 

"What if I come?" you asked, feeling the pressure in your gut grow.

"Not yet."

His fingers left your clit, but the pressure remained, swirling pleasure through you. 

"How are you doing that?" you whined, voice thick in your throat. 

"I just can."

His length pushed into you, pressing against your walls, brushing your g-spot steadily. But without warning, or apparent reason, he pulled out and rolled onto his back. You turned, crawling to sit up on your knees and look at him. He was blinking at the ceiling, chest rising quickly. You lifted your leg and threw it over his hips, but he caught your thigh in his hand and gently returned it to press against your other. 

"I have to go, little one."

"What?" You pushed yourself closer to him, leaning over his chest to peer into his wide pupils. "We didn't come."

"It's best that way."

"Why?" you asked, voice soaked with desperation. 

"Because I have to go."

"Right now?" you whined. 

"For good."

Your heart spun, sinking through your gut. Your eyes stung. Your muscles froze. 

"No, I'll see you again," you assured yourself out loud. 

"No. I won't come back."

"Where will you go?" Tears were gathering beneath your eyelids.

"Nowhere. I was only made for you. I'll just be gone."

"No, no. If you were made for me, you can stay. I want you to stay. Please, don't leave me," you pleaded, blinking rapidly. 

"Little one. My purpose is done."

"No, it's not. I still need you," you argued, throat wet with anguish.

"You felt. You felt, so now I am done."

"I want to keep feeling," you cried, brushing the tears away before they could slip down your cheeks.

"You will."

He stood from the bed, pausing to stare down at your shattering frame. The moonlight glowed behind him. Just like the sun had the first time you had met him. His hair was a halo of messy locks. His nose a perfect, protruding slant. Strong brows, intimidating and comforting all at once. His lips, sweetly pouty and gentle--soft lips that you wished to feel pressed against your skin for every second you could ever breathe. Without him, how would you breathe? 

"Wait, Kylo. Please. Please. Let's finish. You can't leave me this quickly. Let me feel you one last time," you begged with dampened cheeks. 

He considered your plea, and finally kneeled back onto the mattress. You pushed yourself to lay on your back, legs spreading automatically. He propped himself over you and slid his cock back through your entrance, filling you completely as always. You were two pieces of a puzzle, joined so perfectly, you knew it was meant to be this way. As he rocked into you, you could feel the part of your heart that belonged to him swell. It wasn't normal. Everything about it was far from usual, but your devotion to him was overwhelming, crippling. And now it was tearing you apart. 

"Don't cry." 

His voice was gentle and kind as he rocked against your walls. 

"I'll miss you so much. I don't know how I'll bear it." Your voice cracked and you sobbed, more tears slipping free and falling sideways into your hair. 

"You'll be okay without me."

You shook your head at his statement, and he pressed his temple to yours. 

"You don't need me anymore."

You pressed your palms to his shoulder blades, feeling the sheets of muscle shift as he pushed into you with soft rhythm. 

"Yes, I do," you muttered through a stinging throat. 

"You don't."

The invisible pressure returned to your clit and you gasped through your tears. 

"You can come now."

"I-If I come, you'll leave," you managed to sputter between your sobs. 

The pressure increased, and the warmth in your gut became stronger, racking your body with the threat of euphoria. You tried to push against his shoulders. You tried to push him off, so that you wouldn't come and he wouldn't leave, but he wouldn't budge. 

It hit you heavily. Your legs trembled and you moaned through your tears, clenching around him as your bud hummed and tingled with relief. The warmth gripped you completely. For a moment, you forgot why you were so upset, the satisfaction running across your core so intense. 

But eventually, you crashed down into the weight of your grief. You watched Kylo as he came. His lips were parted, eyes glossy, messy hair bouncing around him as he pushed against your walls. You traced his jaw under your fingertips as he moaned and panted, twitching inside of you until warmth greeted your walls, a familiar comfort. His satisfaction was lodged in your own, and it was perfect, and it was the only thing you wanted forever. He pulled himself away and stood again. You scrambled after him, rising to your feet and standing with your nose inches from his chest. 

Your sobs were consuming you now, making your shoulders shake. Your eyes felt raw and numb. Snot was dripping into your mouth. Your chest ached as it struggled to pull breath. And beneath your lungs, your heart screamed in agony. 

"Say you won't leave me," you begged. 

"I must."

"I need you still. I won't feel without you," you whimpered.

"You'll feel again because of me."

"Will you miss me?" you asked, hiccuping between deep cries. 

Kylo leaned down until his nose brushed yours. 

"I will ache forever with the memory of you."

You crashed your lips into him, trying desperately to swallow his words, contain his threat of a goodbye. You tried to convince him with your lips that you were worth staying for. Your tongue tried to tuck your agony into the back of his throat, so that he might feel even half of the heartbreak that settled in your gut. When he pulled away, you sobbed harshly, so deeply your lungs yelped with pain. 

"You have to close your eyes now."

You shook your head quickly. 

"It hurts so bad. It's always going to hurt like this, Kylo. You can't abandon me," you whispered hoarsely. 

"I'm not abandoning you. I came here to help you. You've done so well, little one, letting me make you feel. When I'm gone you'll keep feeling, even without me."

"I don't believe that," you said, leaning closer to convince him with the pain glittering in your blurry eyes. 

"I promise, you will feel. You have to close your eyes now."

You sobbed and shook your head again. 

"Please, Kylo," you begged. 

"Little one."

His irises were glossy. He was anguished too. You could feel it pouring off of his warm skin. Your pain mixed in the space between you, and your limbs felt impossibly heavy with the strength of your combined grief. 

"Your heart breaks too?" you asked with a hiccup. 

"Yes, little one. My heart is breaking too."

You pressed one last kiss on his damp, pouting lips. 

"Close your eyes now."

You took one last chance to memorize him. The wide, muscular slope of his shoulders. His gold, honey irises and the dark pupils within them. His tousled hair falling in his eyes. Freckles scattered across his cheeks, pinpoints of your admiration. 

And then you closed your eyes. And when you opened them, you were in bed. The moonlight poured in through your half-shaded window. You were alone. He was gone. The part of your soul that held him had shattered. You broke all at once. Your chest heaved with sobs. Your deep cries echoed through your empty room. 

"Come back," you whispered. "Kylo, come back."

You gripped the comforter between angry fingers and pushed your face into the fabric to conceal your grieving yelps. 

And he was right after all. 

He was gone, and you had never felt so much in your life. 


End file.
